GUEST IN MY OWN COUNTRY, A(ISBN=9781590511398) 英文原版 下载 115盘 pdf snb 夸克云 tct kindle azw3

　　Winner of the 2007 National Jewish Book Award in the category

of Biography, Autobiography & Memoir

A powerful memoir of war, politics, literature, and family life

by one of Europe's leading intellectuals.

When George Konrad was a child of eleven, he, his sister, and two

cousins managed to flee to Budapest from the Hungarian countryside

the day before deportations swept through his home town.

Ultimately, they were the only Jewish children of the town to

survive the Holocaust.

A Guest in My Own Country recalls the life of one of Eastern

Europe's most accomplished modern writers, beginning with his

survival during the final months of the war. Konrad captures the

dangers, the hopes, the betrayals and courageous acts of the period

through a series of carefully chosen episodes that occasionally

border on the surreal (as when a dead German soldier begins to

speak, attempting to justify his actions).

The end of the war launches the young man on a remarkable career

in letters and politics. Offering lively de*ions of both his

private and public life in Budapest, New York, and Berlin, Konrad

reflects insightfully on his role in the Hungarian Uprising, the

notion of "internal emigration" – the fate of many writers who,

like Konrad, refused to leave the Eastern Bloc under socialism –

and other complexities of European identity. To read A Guest in My

Own Country is to experience the recent history of East-Central

Europe from the inside.

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共产主义和我一起变老。在活跃且守纪律的默然忍受中，几十年过去了。因为在政权解体时我已经五十六岁了，所以我一生最好的年代都笼罩在其阴影下。尽管如此，我从未远远地观察祖国。我在其中摸索着生活。

生活缓慢，但我并不因此后悔，因为它如此丰富。不完美造就凡人，因而使人真实；脆弱和必死性在道德意义上是近义词。道德哲学只能建立在脆弱性和我们对它的接受上。

被锁在里面和被锁在外面，处理内部和外部的武器（里面的是机枪，外面的是坦克）只是常态。任何正常的学生角色都被抛弃了。但即使在革命的鼎盛时期，我也没有开枪射击任何人的欲望：面对着武装部队的压倒性优势，我认为语言作为反对力量终究会起到决定性作用，这个结论是与那些没有涌出暂时对西方开放的边境的人共同思考后得出的。

我有一半同学都离开了，大部分成了教授，主要去了美国的大学。我们，最顽固者，转入地下，认为如果我们现在不占优势，我们就用伪装来提供自由精神，与此同时巩固和复兴自由文化。在我们被锁起来的时间里，我们还可以了解我们的城市、我们的国家。强迫产生了强度。计划是从有经验的人那里学习，在白天，一部分时间待在图书馆里，一部分时间待在出租屋和后院里，努力拯救被忽略儿童的生命。

至于夜晚，我们待在图书馆的咖啡馆里。因此我们的后大学生活是大学生活的延续：同样的朋友和情人圈子、几个教授和文学圈。谁是谁的消息传开了。每个人都认识每个人。

I have mixed feelings looking back on those five years of study. I feel the same ambiguity I feel whenever I visit a university anywhere in the world to lecture on literature, give a sociology seminar, or simply talk to faculty members and their enthusiastic students. Gaining an overview of an entire field of study, having the chance to study all day 一整天学习的机会 (a chance that may never return later in life 在以后的生活中可能不会再有的机会) , agonizing in preparation for examinations, recognizing personal capacities and limits 意识到个人能力与限制, worshiping some professors and disparaging others, thinking through the strategies for turning knowledge to use思考各种策略以将知识化入应用, living the excitement of first love, conversing with friends deep into the night, entering ignorant and exiting relatively well educated—no, we did...

我珍视生活中所有幸运和不幸的本质，我不想与世界决裂或联合。目前，我希望世界和我继续相互凝视。

关于未来我所能设想的只有这点：地球上的人类生命最终会消失。这种可能性没有给我提供任何道德选择。我总是惊讶于宗教的来世概念和共产主义启发的（更准确地说是发明的）乌托邦能有多愚蠢。

尘世的和天国的乌托邦都以摒弃此时此地的世界为前提。对于未来的任何欣喜之情都使得对当下的中伤成为必要。不管我当下的生存状况如何，我不想要一种激进且从根本上不同的生活，因为我不相信这样的事物有存在的可能性。事实上，我认为对理论上美好的替代国家的承诺就跟常见的谎言一样令人厌恶。

我珍视生活中所有幸运和不幸的本质。我不想与世界决裂或联合。目前，我希望世界和我继续相互凝视。

官方认可的正常状态包含了神经衰弱的所有症状。只有自由人是健康的，而健康人是自己的主人。病人受人管理：他们依赖于别人，不能够照顾自己，无法独自行动，不会做決定，也看不清事物的本来面目。他们只看到他们想看的一一或者他们害怕的。

书籍介绍

Winner of the 2007 National Jewish Book Award in the category of Biography, Autobiography & Memoir

A powerful memoir of war, politics, literature, and family life by one of Europe's leading intellectuals.

When George Konrad was a child of eleven, he, his sister, and two cousins managed to flee to Budapest from the Hungarian countryside the day before deportations swept through his home town. Ultimately, they were the only Jewish children of the town to survive the Holocaust.

A Guest in My Own Country recalls the life of one of Eastern Europe's most accomplished modern writers, beginning with his survival during the final months of the war. Konrad captures the dangers, the hopes, the betrayals and courageous acts of the period through a series of carefully chosen episodes that occasionally border on the surreal (as when a dead German soldier begins to speak, attempting to justify his actions).

The end of the war launches the young man on a remarkable career in letters and politics. Offering lively descriptions of both his private and public life in Budapest, New York, and Berlin, Konrad reflects insightfully on his role in the Hungarian Uprising, the notion of "internal emigration" – the fate of many writers who, like Konrad, refused to leave the Eastern Bloc under socialism – and other complexities of European identity. To read A Guest in My Own Country is to experience the recent history of East-Central Europe from the inside.